Week 2...Wow!

Hi All!

The second week of the study has flown by! It is amazing how after hearing such inspiring words from Beth Moore and feeling the Holy Spirit that I have just been floating through the week. But, Hello....time to get back to it!

We talked last week about "crossing a border" Beth told the story about how the bleeding woman bled for 12 years with no chance of healing in sight. Not a person could help her! She knew Jesus was to be coming through and she wanted to get her some healin'. So what did she do? She fought through the crowd and touched his tassel. She was immediately healed! He immediately knew that power had gone out of Him too! He asked who touched him and people were trying to duck the question. I mean, who goes and touches Jesus?! He wanted to be available to her to heal her. Don't you think if he wanted to avoid being touched he could have? Of course he could. Jesus told her that her faith had healed her and to go in peace.

Have any of you ever gotten to a point in life where you know you just can't keep doing the same old thing, day after day, week after week, year after year? I know I have done the same thing expecting different results and got no healing. So we should ask ourselves if it is time to do something different! Crossing a border, as Beth says! I can tell you that I am at the point where if I saw Jesus going through the crowd, I would take off running for him and throw some elbows (like the good ol' days) to get what I desperately needed! There is no more time for pleasantries and people pleasing. Those days are done! But I must conquer this fear stronghold first..

I have really felt a peace coming on that I have not felt in a long time. I mean, I have a great family, beautiful children, a loving husband but that hole in my heart was still there. But for my fear stronghold, I am making such progress. Pastor Michael said not to let fear of crowds, judgement, insert your own silly obstacle, to get in the way of a really rewarding life with Christ. Inside I am screaming "Ya! You tell 'em" but when it came time to come down those stairs and go forward with my need, I am CHICKEN! My feet won't move one step though God calls me to. Uh-oh...that is not being obedient. I mean, God won't be mad right? He understands my fear so he should be okay and forgive me right? Uh, wrong! Fear does not give me an excuse to not fulfill what he wants me to be! Living in fear, no matter how big or small, robs me of an abundant life. Whether it being afraid to state my opinion or say hi to someone in the mall that may not recognize me, fear robs me of an abundant life that God sacrificed his Son to give me.

I need to have more faith..or maybe know what faith actually is. In the study, it is said that "Sometimes faith is absence of fear. Other times, faith may be choosing to believe God even when my heart is melting with fear. Perhaps, then, faith is tested by what we do with fear, not whether or not we have it." Thanks, Beth. That is an awesome point!

My fear keeps me from a big thing that God wants me to do....be baptised. I have never been baptised before and I know that it is a big step in going forward with my journey. A public showing of my faith...but more of a showing to me and to God. That I can step out of my fear to do something bigger. So far I have had concrete feet but I am praying for wings to fly me down those stairs and on to the next step of my breaking free!