Intro to the study..

Here I am to write about Beth Moore's study and how I hope it will affect my life. I just love Beth Moore. I would like to carry her around in my pocket for inspiration. I just love people who can be that positive and purposeful. I envy them because I am not that way at all. I love that she has such passion for Christ. I have a friend like that who I call a ray of sunshine. Anytime I see her I think of that. She is close to Christ too so I think there has to be something to their sunny disposition and the fact they are always seeking God. Hmm...I am not for sure but I know I want some of what they have.

Last night was the intro and it was gooood. She said that Bondage is anything that hinders us from what God wants us to be and that our strongholds ALWAYS leads to isolation. Maybe not literal isolation but I know there is nothing worse than being in a group of people yet feeling like your still alone. I know many times I wished I was invisible as a teen when I felt I was the center of attention I did not want. Now though, I want some of that friendship and I am the ghost I always thought I wanted to be. You mean I actually have to learn how to be and have friends like a 4 year old?? yep.. and this is due to some of my srongholds! I know at times I am my own worst enemy and I had to realize that it is the devil himself just laughing at my despair. He has me where he wants me and I did not even know it! Needless to say, I have many strongholds I hope to kill by the end of this study such as fear, anxiety, pride, shame and guilt. Not that I walk around like a zombie shackled in chains with each name of my trouble displayed in bold at the end of an enormous ball but some days it feels like a heavy coat to say the least.

God said that he wants us to bear MUCH fruit, not just a little, not just a couple berries but MUCH or even an abundant amount..but how do I do that?? God also says that if we don't seek freedom, we will seek shelter. God doesn't want me to hide anymore from some imaginary label I put on myself so many years ago. People aren't looking at me, they are worried people are looking at them! It is time to turn off the tape that has been repeating in my head for 20 years! Whew..

The purpose of the journey is not to kill me but to bring me to the full measure of abundant life He promised. I need to be more scared of missing what God has in store for me than of letting go of junk that will keep me from Him.